TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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