I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
