I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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