He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
