You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
