I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You pole danced in your parka.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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