Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Can vaginas get frostbite?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
