operation harelip BJ is a go
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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