I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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