Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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