Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
