i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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