Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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