Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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