would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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