Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
