operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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