you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
