Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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