Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
