Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
God, I missed his penis.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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