how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
