Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
