im drinking this country out of the recession.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
