It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
