But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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