there was a trapeze. enough said
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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