i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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