Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
