At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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