Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
