I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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