i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
