I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
