dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize