hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize