then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
