Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
