I think i peed on brittanys purse
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
What a dumb baby whore.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
