Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
