My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
