so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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