I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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