This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
