dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
