It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
