There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize