I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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