C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
