I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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