Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
