We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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