imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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