you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
