put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Randomize