I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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