girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
