I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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