Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
