I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
